i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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