So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
