I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
