There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize