god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
