this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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