if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
