i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
