soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
