Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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