All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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