She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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