erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
