Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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