Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
