Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it's like iHOP with fire
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
