Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my shit smells like andre
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
