He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
