we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize