I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
