Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Please, let me fuck your mom
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
