we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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