I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
