i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
