quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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