I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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