She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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