Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
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