yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
