Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
