I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
