I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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