dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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