so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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