I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
