My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
