What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I did not marry a roomba.
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