That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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