Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need water and some morals
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
