I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
