i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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