make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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