Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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