i jhust puked up my retainher.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
