Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
