I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
