why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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