Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
