It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize