i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
