Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
