Fine. I'll sleep in my office
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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