I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
