and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
