So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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