why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
