why didn't you poke me back
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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