69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
