You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
