I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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