If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
