Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
