Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
