Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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