White coat. Heels.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
only you would photoshop your dick
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
