Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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