All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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